Divorce mediation (FAQ): answers to questions regarding divorce mediation, family mediation, separation agreements, and uncontested divorce documents.

Updated November 16, 2008

Until recently, all matters concerning separation and divorce were handled by separate attorneys representing each spouse, in preparation for litigation. But now, with the assistance of your neutral mediator, you and your spouse will become decision-making partners, rather than opposing parties in the court room.

Divorce mediation is an agreement reaching process in which a specially trained mediator will help you and your partner to mutually identify and resolve all issues related to your separation and divorce, including:

• Division of marital property and debt
• Child support and spousal support
• Custody, parenting time, and decision-making for your children.

After all issues have been resolved, all decisions made during the mediation may be drafted into a Separation Agreement. Once properly signed, this document will become a legally binding contract which may be filed in court as the basis for an uncontested divorce. { Top }

Because all couples who come to divorce mediation have their own, unique set of circumstances, it is difficult to predict how long the process will take. On average, mediation with couples who have children and who own their home takes 3-4 sessions. Mediation with couples who do not have children averages one-two sessions. The mediation process can always be completed in a fraction of the time that it takes to divorce in the traditional manner. Mediation sessions usually last 90 minutes. { Top }

We charge an hourly fee for time spent in sessions, which is usually split equally by the couple, and payable at the end of the session. There is no retainer fee.The average cost for mediation sessions ranges between $800.00-$1700.00, which is far less costly than paying two separate attorneys to represent each spouse during the litigation process. Separate legal fees will be incurred to prepare your Settlement Agreement and uncontested divorce documents when the mediation has been successfully completed. { Top }

Although Ms. Gerber is a New York state licensed attorney, she will not represent either spouse in any capacity, at any time, and does not provide legal advice. Her role during the mediation is solely that of an impartial mediator. At the conclusion of the mediation, in most cases, Ms. Gerber will be able to prepare your separation agreement in her role as mediator. It is strongly recommended that each spouse consult with review attorney at some point during the mediation process, but especially at the end, to review the agreement prior to signing. This will ensure that you both have a full understanding of your individual legal rights and responsibilities. Your separation agreement will become a binding legal contract between you once properly signed. In most cases Ms. Gerber will be able to prepare and file all uncontested divorce documents on your behalf, in her role as Mediator. { Top }

The “grounds”, or basis for divorce in New York, are the following:

• cruel and inhuman treatment;
• abandonment;
• imprisonment;
• adultery.

These grounds are based upon the “fault” of one of the parties. The other ground– living separate and apart under a separation agreement or separation decree for at least one year after signing– is a ground for divorce in which neither spouse is at “fault”.
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A separation agreement is a detailed contract in which the parties agree to live separate and apart for the rest of their lives. It should detail the respective rights and duties of the husband and wife relating to custody and access to the children, support payments, property distribution, and all other marital issues. Certain formalities must be followed in order for the agreement to qualify as a ground for divorce. Once filed with the clerk of the county where either spouse lives, after one year has passed from the date you sign the agreement, either spouse may sue the other for a “no-fault” divorce. { Top }

The division of assets and debt, and the fixing of spousal support, are covered under New York’s Equitable Distribution law. This statute is based upon the concept that marriage is both an economic and social partnership. Property is distinguished by whether it is separate, or pre-marital and generally not divisible, or marital and subject to division based upon equitable principles. Alimony under New York law is referred to as maintenance, and is based upon certain factors set forth in the domestic relations statute. { Top }

Child support is the amount of money the non-custodial parent is obligated to pay to the custodial parent for the support of the children. This amount is based upon a percentage of the income of both parents, and the number of children of the marriage.

Child support must be paid until each child reaches the age of emancipation, which is 21, unless the parents agree to extend it while a child is in college, or for other reasons. In addition to the basic child support obligation, the non-custodial parent may be obligated to pay a percentage of child care expenses and health care expenses, including health insurance premiums. { Top }